It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
