im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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