you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
