I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
this is an emotional support booty call
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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