i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
