do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
