check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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