then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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