Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
