I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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