I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
