it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
