do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
