Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize
