I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
and she was petting her beer can
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
