mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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