Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
