what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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