you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
