Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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