you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
