in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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