just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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