How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
