in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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