I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
