Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have fence marks all over my body
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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