whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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