I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
