quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
