Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
