Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
