My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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