were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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