rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
