Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
