So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
