One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
