Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Tell her she can't have a vagina
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
