K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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