They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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