He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
