you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
