we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
