im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
