Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize