a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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