I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
