Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
