Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
