how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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