I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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