his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
