watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
did i just pee glitter
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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