new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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